Decided Today...

1. Stop worrying so much about the future. Today is now. Tomorrow is uncertain. I can plan and worry all I want, and the end result will be similar either way. If things don't go as originally planned, I can come up with a plan B. Done it before, will probably have to do it again. And the world keeps turning. So therefore I must chill the fuck out.

2. Getting the eff out of California when I graduate. I've always lived here, and I don't appreciate it because I don't know anything else. Don't appreciate the lack of culture or humor. Maybe it's a mistake to leave, but it's a mistake I want to make on my own (rather than hear it from others who aren't me...*achem* MOM)) before I have too many assets/baggage to do it and spend the rest of my life regretting the fact that I never got out of the "california whirl pool" (ie. people who try/plan to leave but some force keeps them in). I'm not trying to whine or imply that I am better than my fellow statesmen, I'm just the type that likes to inspect the grass on both sides of the fence to make sure it is indeed not greener on the other side. I like to exercise my options, I like to try new things. If I hate it, I'll come back. If I don't hate it- then it was a good choice. I've wanted to spend at least a small chunk of my life living in New York City since I visited in January 2008. It was cold, but so much more alive than anywhere else I've been.

My mother agrees. Which is good. One less battle to fight.

In other (not particularly interesting) news, I drank non-decaf coffee before bed last night and was wired until 4:30 am. That is when I did most of the aforementioned life planning. Then woke up at 6. Oy. Luckily Amy (WHO READS THIS!!) happened to see my facebook status about being awake and texted me that she was too (due to traveling/jet-lag), so we met at Panera early in the morning and talked for a few hours. I liked it. Friends make me happy, and less worried.

I also figured out what I can do with all my newfound free time, which I have come to accept is my current reality. Last week I was angry/confused about these large chunks of time because I am used to the school year when I have a full course load, a job, and extracurriculars (chicken-without-a-head type of busy). Now that I'm getting used to the slower pace of summer, I've set aside some interesting looking books (thanks to my sister, who majored in english/ creative writing and has a massive bookshelf of lit.), found some dance classes at my gym (hula?!), and located my old music-editing software. And swimming :) 

Tomorrow I'm going to email the CPA who keeps forgetting to call back and offer my services for free (forget the money--at this point I just need it for my resume!). Even if it's very part time, I have other stuff to do now. Like enjoy life.