Thank you for bringing to light the fact that I'm far from perfect. I've always had a fairly realistic grasp of my own abilities, and the ability to administer self-discipline when I failed to meet my expectations. However, this can sometimes be an exhausting job, so I appreciate that you've taken the initiative to help remind me of my flaws.
Thank you for bringing to light the fact that I've had an overwhelming workload since returning from vacation, despite doing the maximum number of allowable overtime hours in the four weeks since I've been back. Next time I consider taking a vacation, I'll be sure to keep my priorities in check.
Thank you for bringing to light all the unimportant mistakes I've made since returning from said vacation. They probably had nothing to do with the fact that I'm juggling an enormous workload while responding to the demands of five different people.
Thank you for letting me know that it's all my fault the new teammate is not thriving. That one day I taught him one thing must have been very influential.
I am honored that you consider me "the bridge" between the lower and upper members of the team. Thank you for trusting me with so much responsibility while giving me absolutely no power or decision-making abilities.
And finally, thank you for the forewarning that I may not be promoted in the fall after all. If I simply cannot meet your expectations, perhaps I should find a different place of employment that is better suited for someone less competent.
January 30, 2013
January 25, 2013
Simple Things
My happy time: Friday evening, after all the chores are done, sheets washed, laundry put away. Sitting on the couch, relieved to have survived another week.
January 11, 2013
What I Know
The older I get, the more I realize how little I know about anything. Not necessarily in a terrifying or overwhelming way - just as a statement of fact. I've accepted it and moved on.
Earlier today, I was having a conversation with a friend, and we got on the topic of people living insincere lives. By this, I mean those who live their lives in pursuit of external validation and approval. It doesn't matter what they actually like or how they feel about things - what matters is what others (their group of friends...society?) think. I think social media has made this phenomenon worse. What if I post a photo on Instagram and only a few people like it? (The world ends, DUH.) Opportunities for external validation (or a lack thereof) have woven their way into every waking moment of our lives, even when they're unsolicited.
My point (and how the first two paragraphs tie together) - is that I don't give a shit what other people think. I might not know much about the world as a whole, but I know myself - I know what I like, and I know how I feel about things. I'm not about to let others' differing likes and feelings change mine.
All of my instagram photos, tweets, even this blog, are for ME. If you like them too, good for you, but I'm not about the let the fear of no 'likes' or comments prevent me from expressing myself in whatever way I feel is appropriate.
I can't be dishonest with myself or others. Sometime my truth-seeking ways get me down (the truth ain't always pretty), but I'd rather be hurt by the truth than live a lie. And while I navigate through this un-chartered period of life that is my 20s - at least I can sleep soundly knowing one thing for sure: who I am.
Earlier today, I was having a conversation with a friend, and we got on the topic of people living insincere lives. By this, I mean those who live their lives in pursuit of external validation and approval. It doesn't matter what they actually like or how they feel about things - what matters is what others (their group of friends...society?) think. I think social media has made this phenomenon worse. What if I post a photo on Instagram and only a few people like it? (The world ends, DUH.) Opportunities for external validation (or a lack thereof) have woven their way into every waking moment of our lives, even when they're unsolicited.
My point (and how the first two paragraphs tie together) - is that I don't give a shit what other people think. I might not know much about the world as a whole, but I know myself - I know what I like, and I know how I feel about things. I'm not about to let others' differing likes and feelings change mine.
All of my instagram photos, tweets, even this blog, are for ME. If you like them too, good for you, but I'm not about the let the fear of no 'likes' or comments prevent me from expressing myself in whatever way I feel is appropriate.
I can't be dishonest with myself or others. Sometime my truth-seeking ways get me down (the truth ain't always pretty), but I'd rather be hurt by the truth than live a lie. And while I navigate through this un-chartered period of life that is my 20s - at least I can sleep soundly knowing one thing for sure: who I am.
January 7, 2013
Shaken (not stirred)
Yesterday afternoon, my roommate invited me to a happy hour with a group of her friends. I usually don't accept her social invitations, but after a weekend of sitting around doing nothing, I think I needed a drink. So I accepted.
The happy hour turned out to be nice. My roommate, who is quite generous with her money (but that's another story), treated everyone to margaritas and snacks. The restaurant was pretty low key and her co-ed group of friends made pleasant conversation (side note: I think I need more female friends. Though I tend to identify with the male mindset, it's also nice to socialize with people of the same gender).
My roommate had driven the two of us to happy hour, and upon our arrival home I noticed that my car lights were on. I never leave my car lights on. When I approached my car to turn off the lights, I noticed that both the front and back passenger door were cracked open. Then I noticed that my glove box was open, and things were strewn all over the seat. My parking structure is pretty secure, so the thief would have had to sneak in while the garage door was open - OR - it might have been someone already in the building (my roommate suspects it's the creepy friend of the crazy girl on the third floor who drives a car filled with so much stuff I suspects he lives in there, and a missing window patched with plastic wrap). Also: since no windows were broken, my car must have been unlocked. I NEVER leave my car unlocked, so I suspect my roommate may have forgotten to lock it after switching our cars in the tandem parking spot. Oy,
The idiot theif (thieves?) didn't actually steal much. Just cash, a pair of sunglasses (that cost $4 at the swap meet, bitches), and the lantern I bought when I had no electricity in my old apartment. What they didn't steal: my CDs (I was kind of hoping they'd rid me of the mix tapes from my ex), my phone charger, my parking garage clicker, and my Sony badge. Thank GOD.
Even so, I'm shaken. I tend to have a "these things don't happen to me" attitude (don't we all?), but now this thing did happen to me. It makes me question how safe I really am, even in building that is technically secure. But also, I'm trying to remind myself that events like this are arbitrary, so there's no point getting overly paranoid. And, as far as silver linings go, filing my first police report made me feel like a badass.
The happy hour turned out to be nice. My roommate, who is quite generous with her money (but that's another story), treated everyone to margaritas and snacks. The restaurant was pretty low key and her co-ed group of friends made pleasant conversation (side note: I think I need more female friends. Though I tend to identify with the male mindset, it's also nice to socialize with people of the same gender).
My roommate had driven the two of us to happy hour, and upon our arrival home I noticed that my car lights were on. I never leave my car lights on. When I approached my car to turn off the lights, I noticed that both the front and back passenger door were cracked open. Then I noticed that my glove box was open, and things were strewn all over the seat. My parking structure is pretty secure, so the thief would have had to sneak in while the garage door was open - OR - it might have been someone already in the building (my roommate suspects it's the creepy friend of the crazy girl on the third floor who drives a car filled with so much stuff I suspects he lives in there, and a missing window patched with plastic wrap). Also: since no windows were broken, my car must have been unlocked. I NEVER leave my car unlocked, so I suspect my roommate may have forgotten to lock it after switching our cars in the tandem parking spot. Oy,
The idiot theif (thieves?) didn't actually steal much. Just cash, a pair of sunglasses (that cost $4 at the swap meet, bitches), and the lantern I bought when I had no electricity in my old apartment. What they didn't steal: my CDs (I was kind of hoping they'd rid me of the mix tapes from my ex), my phone charger, my parking garage clicker, and my Sony badge. Thank GOD.
Even so, I'm shaken. I tend to have a "these things don't happen to me" attitude (don't we all?), but now this thing did happen to me. It makes me question how safe I really am, even in building that is technically secure. But also, I'm trying to remind myself that events like this are arbitrary, so there's no point getting overly paranoid. And, as far as silver linings go, filing my first police report made me feel like a badass.
January 6, 2013
Enough about the past
After careful consideration, I don't think a 2012 'Year In Review' post will happen. I can't think of anything eloquent to say about 2012 other than...it happened.
So, on to the future. Today, I got a text from my sister: 'do you want a 5 year journal?'
'No, that seems too daunting. I'd never be able to fill it,' I responded.
But then she sent me the link for this book, and I changed my mind. It's structured like a calendar, and asks a different question each day of the year (pro: it takes the pressure off having to think of a topic). When a new year begins, you go back to the beginning and answer the same questions for a second (and third, and forth, and fifth) time.
What I like about this journal, is that it will be a good tracker of any changes that take place between now and....age 29 (yikes). Hopefully for the better.
So, on to the future. Today, I got a text from my sister: 'do you want a 5 year journal?'
'No, that seems too daunting. I'd never be able to fill it,' I responded.
But then she sent me the link for this book, and I changed my mind. It's structured like a calendar, and asks a different question each day of the year (pro: it takes the pressure off having to think of a topic). When a new year begins, you go back to the beginning and answer the same questions for a second (and third, and forth, and fifth) time.
What I like about this journal, is that it will be a good tracker of any changes that take place between now and....age 29 (yikes). Hopefully for the better.
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