Since Valentine's Day is approaching (actually, it's not, but step into a mall or grocery store and you'll be convinced otherwise), I thought I'd do an entry on love.
First of all, love is a broad, vague term. It can be used between couples, from parents to children, between drunk girls at parties, and to refer to food (and other material things).
More specifically, I want to talk about the distinction between loving and being in love. I was talking to a girl in my class today, and she mentioned that she loved her boyfriend before she was in love with him. This got me thinking, what's the difference?
Being in love is active state of being. I think it refers to love between couples. It requires work, and it is constantly reassessed (do we still love each other/want to stay together?). Being in love encompasses loving, so when you are in love with somebody, you love them (duh).
Loving is more passive. You may love somebody because their relationship to you. For example, you love your family, but you certainly wouldn't tell people you were in love with them unless you are weird. You may also love somebody you respect or admire. You may also sometimes love somebody you used to be in love with. Since being in love requires active work, you can't be in love with someone you aren't in a relationship with. However, unless there was a nasty falling out, chances are you still harbor many happy memories and respect the person as a human being.
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