Reflection

It's my final Wednesday as a working woman. I'm finally getting the hang of invoice processing, figuring out the perfect lunch combo (enough to keep me full, not not so full that I want a nap), and bonding with my coworkers, but now it's time to go back to my other life. As a coworker asked me today "would you really want to be doing this forever?" I happened to be stuffing envelopes when she asked, so no. I wouldn't actually want to be doing this job forever, but very few jobs are forever. Especially first ones. It was good while it lasted.  

On the plus side, I now know that I like working, which is a relief since I'll be doing it for a sizable chunk of my life. I have some friends that prefer school to work and would rather be perpetual students. I might go back and get a masters eventually, but only if somebody else pays. 

It's been weird to spend the workday with my financially independent, mostly-married coworkers, and then go home to live with my parents. It's like wearing shoes that are 3 sizes too small, or being a snake that wants to shed its skin but can't. It's hard to feel independent at home. The only thing I like about it is its proximity to the hills, which are good for long walks. 

From what I've observed, I suspect there is a tradeoff between money earned and happiness at work. To a point, the more you earn, the happier you are, but beyond that point, the stress of the job decreases happiness. I'm a nerd, so a made a graph:

Maybe I'm trying to justify the fact that I might never make it to the top, despite my ambition and drive. But it can be lonely at the top. I think it depends on what you do and where you work. Happiness is a choice. Your job is what you do, not who you are. Just be happy. More like this:

Tomorrow there is going to be a bagel breakfast at work (there are monthly events to celebrate birthdays and new hires). I love me some bagels.