I might be back?

So it's been almost a year. Apologies if my writing is a bit rusty/nonsensical.
I had every intention to abandon this blog. I can't quite remember why, but isn't that usually the case?

A lot has changed in the last year (I got a new job and moved to a different neighborhood, etc.), but also, a lot has stayed the same (I'm still me, for better or for worse). Even though both of these changes were healthy and necessary, I'm still piecing together this new phase of life and figuring out where I fit in. Hence the cyclical rut. Hence this post. Sigh.


So why didn't I delete the blog? For one, so much of my history is here. Some posts are silly, some posts are dark (or maybe only I can identify the darkest ones, because I lived them), but all of them meant something to me at the time. I thought I'd be fine without out an outlet to express myself, but venting to real people just isn't the same as writing things down.

So, hi. I've missed you.

The Internet Isn't A Doctor

For the record, I have an objectively hearty appetite.  I can eat a lot in one setting.  I eat pretty often, because I get cranky when I'm hungry.

This week, I noticed that my appetite has been off.  I had a recurring stomachache for two-ish days (though only in the morning and at night). Yesterday, I wasn't really hungry for breakfast, but ate it anyway.  About an hour later, en route to a work appointment, I had a cup of green tea, and felt like I was going to throw up for about 15 minutes (I didn't). At night, I attempted to eat dinner, but my stomach quickly informed me that it was closed for the evening.

This morning, I woke up, still not hungry.  I did laundry and chores for about an hour, hoping to work up an appetite.  It didn't happen, but I ate breakfast anyway, because I felt like I should.  Fast-forward to 4 pm: I hadn't eaten in 7 hours and STILL wasn't hungry.  Again, I ate a small snack, because I felt like I should. Then I hit the internet...

According various Web-MD equivalents, I am either anorexic, or have a slew of maladies that range from kidney failure to cancer. Thanks, Internet.

First off, I think most anorexics are very hungry and intentionally starving themselves.  The medical internet community thinks anorexic people just don't feel like eating (I'm going to wager that a man wrote that article).

Second, before I waste any more time worrying, can temporary stomach ache/loss of appetite be caused by something as simple as stress or sleep deprivation?

2013

After a quick glance at last year's year-end recap, I've decided that 2013 was strikingly similar to 2012 (which surprised me, because 2011 was SO different).  Sure, I'm a year older, my hair is a little lighter, and I visited a few new places, but I feel weirdly...the same.

I'm not sure where I got the idea that each year would be astronomically different from the previous year.  In reality, I think I'm in translation. I've evolved out of my college self, but I'm not an actual adult.  Who knows how many years I'll stay here before the next phase.

So here's to 2014, which will hopefully bring some sort of meaningful change.