I might be back?

So it's been almost a year. Apologies if my writing is a bit rusty/nonsensical.
I had every intention to abandon this blog. I can't quite remember why, but isn't that usually the case?

A lot has changed in the last year (I got a new job and moved to a different neighborhood, etc.), but also, a lot has stayed the same (I'm still me, for better or for worse). Even though both of these changes were healthy and necessary, I'm still piecing together this new phase of life and figuring out where I fit in. Hence the cyclical rut. Hence this post. Sigh.


So why didn't I delete the blog? For one, so much of my history is here. Some posts are silly, some posts are dark (or maybe only I can identify the darkest ones, because I lived them), but all of them meant something to me at the time. I thought I'd be fine without out an outlet to express myself, but venting to real people just isn't the same as writing things down.

So, hi. I've missed you.

The Internet Isn't A Doctor

For the record, I have an objectively hearty appetite.  I can eat a lot in one setting.  I eat pretty often, because I get cranky when I'm hungry.

This week, I noticed that my appetite has been off.  I had a recurring stomachache for two-ish days (though only in the morning and at night). Yesterday, I wasn't really hungry for breakfast, but ate it anyway.  About an hour later, en route to a work appointment, I had a cup of green tea, and felt like I was going to throw up for about 15 minutes (I didn't). At night, I attempted to eat dinner, but my stomach quickly informed me that it was closed for the evening.

This morning, I woke up, still not hungry.  I did laundry and chores for about an hour, hoping to work up an appetite.  It didn't happen, but I ate breakfast anyway, because I felt like I should.  Fast-forward to 4 pm: I hadn't eaten in 7 hours and STILL wasn't hungry.  Again, I ate a small snack, because I felt like I should. Then I hit the internet...

According various Web-MD equivalents, I am either anorexic, or have a slew of maladies that range from kidney failure to cancer. Thanks, Internet.

First off, I think most anorexics are very hungry and intentionally starving themselves.  The medical internet community thinks anorexic people just don't feel like eating (I'm going to wager that a man wrote that article).

Second, before I waste any more time worrying, can temporary stomach ache/loss of appetite be caused by something as simple as stress or sleep deprivation?

2013

After a quick glance at last year's year-end recap, I've decided that 2013 was strikingly similar to 2012 (which surprised me, because 2011 was SO different).  Sure, I'm a year older, my hair is a little lighter, and I visited a few new places, but I feel weirdly...the same.

I'm not sure where I got the idea that each year would be astronomically different from the previous year.  In reality, I think I'm in translation. I've evolved out of my college self, but I'm not an actual adult.  Who knows how many years I'll stay here before the next phase.

So here's to 2014, which will hopefully bring some sort of meaningful change.

Ba'scuse Me?

Today was our annual office Thanksgiving potluck. As I am on the company events committee, I stayed behind after everyone had eaten to clean up the mess.  Because I was wearing a silk shirt and washing dishes, I put on an apron to prevent water from splashing onto my shirt.

At one point, one of the mailroom guys walked in, took one look at me washing dishes in my apron, and said "you're going to make a good wife someday."

I'll take it as a compliment with insulting undertones.

Shitting and Eating

Shitting is nobody's favorite thing, but a necessary evil.  Eating, on the other hand, is probably my favorite thing in the entire world.

For the sake of sticking with my metaphor (possibly to a fault), I shit each week for 10 hours per day for four straight days.  When I'm not shitting, I want to be as far removed from my shit as I can possibly get.  Unfortunately, un-named male coworker (but different than this un-named male coworker), that means that when you ask me to dinner and I say 'no' 5 different ways, please take that as a subtle hint that I have no interest in mixing the two (I may have used the exact phrase 'I don't shit where I eat' as one of my let-downs). 

I'm sure one day, once you stop obsessing about me to your gossipy work buddy, you'll find a lovely girl who works elsewhere (or a girl who doesn't mind finding a new job when you break up). Also, gossipy work buddy tells me you're reading into ridiculous details as signs that I am secretly interested in you? Unfortunately, I'm am not, but I'd like to thank you for reminding me why dating (or trying to date) coworkers usually ends awkwardly.  Please let me shit in peace. I hope we can remain friends (okay, maybe I couldn't care less, but I'm trying to be the bigger person).

Also, even if you were not associated with my shit, I just don't think I'd be interested, but that's a story for another time (...perhaps a statistical analysis of the likelihood that I will die alone?)

Los Angeles, summarized in three words.

Nobody. Can. Drive.

Hallo-what?

My most festive act of the evening was killing a spider that was crawling up the living room wall.

My most festive thought of the evening was that I could tell everyone that I dressed up as the kid from Home Alone (because I was home, alone).

My most festive goal is that I am going to try to make my holiday observances less pathetic before I turn 30.