Weird Things I Hear

I have a co-worker who has a tendency to say unusual things, and by unusual I mean blunt, inappropriate, strange, awkward, etc... Before I forget, I thought I'd share the best of the best.

Co-worker: I have a question. Did you get fat while you were studying for the CPA exams?
Me: *Odd sideways glance* I don't know. You tell me.
Translation: [If I did get fat, use your eyes to answer the question. If I didn't get fat, also use your eyes to answer the question. Also, just never ask a girl about getting fat.]
Co-worker: I can't tell. I thought you'd know.
. . .

Co-worker: Wait- do girls piss standing up?
Me: *Odd sideways glance* No.
Translation: [Piss? Nice choice of words. I'd hate to be the barer of bad news, but girls actually lack a certain aimable appendage that allows one to piss standing up.]
Co-worker: Oh. Cool.
. . .

Co-worker: Your work pants look comfortable. Can you do squats in them?
Me: *Odd sideways glance* Not sure.
Translation: [I don't usually do squats at work, and I don't wear my work pants to the gym.]
Co-worker: Hmm. Weird. I can.
. . .

Co-worker: Do your parents ever tell you they love you?
Me: *Odd sideways glance* Yes.
Translation: [If he says no I'm going to feel awkward...]
Co-worker: Oh. Mine don't.


End note: I didn't give any context to any of these mini conversations because there usually isn't any.

Other end note: He often wonders aloud why he is single.  I say nothing.