American Psychos

Dear Crazies Everywhere:

Tomorrow is a day dedicated to celebrating patriotism, marked by parades and social gatherings of all sizes.

If you are in possession of a gun, feeling unstable, and planning to attend a large social gathering,
do us all a favor and just fucking don't.
 

Hints and Lines

Dear [unnamed male co-worker],

Early last week, while discussing our weekends, I mentioned that I had gone on a hike.  You said that you knew of a cool hike, and asked me if I wanted to hike with you the following weekend.

I agreed, because I like hiking.

Had I been aware of the implications attached to someone who likes hiking agreeing to go on a hike, or that you were going to tell your family about the hike (and therefore, me), or that you were going to bombard me with constant texts for the next three days, I would not have gone on the hike.

So, please take a hint from the fact that I'm only answering 1 of every 5 texts you're sending (and that's only because I work with you every day), and leave me alone, before I have to tell you to leave me alone.  You are crossing all kinds of lines, and I'm getting annoyed.

In conclusion, I went on a hike because i LIKE HIKING, not because I like you.